Love and Dating in the times of Socialism and Capitalism

Karl Marx had said that the economic system of any society shapes the functioning of the society. I never realized the depth of this very simple statement until I came across this theory on 'Plastic Love' by sociologist Anthony Giddens.

Love is seemingly a private affair, it is highly individual and we would not expect how the type of economic system we live in i.e socialist or capitalist would affect it. However, our economic lifestyle does shape how we see our relationships.

LOVE AND DATING YESTERDAY

Let us understand with a very simple example. Just a few decades back ( probably the time most of our parents got married ) India was a socialist country. With the economy nationalized there was always a dearth of products. There were years of waiting time if you wanted a car or a telephone connection.

Thus due to this shortage, the social culture was such that people preferred to repair their broken stuff rather than wait to buy a new one. We still witness such tendencies in our parents when their first reaction to every crisis is 'Repair'!

This culture of 'repair', influenced their relationships as well. In marriages and relationships of those times, whenever they came across an issue, the first instinct was to repair. It was only after all their efforts to repair failed that they thought of ending the relationships. Thus divorce was scarce and relationships lasted long.

LOVE AND DATING TODAY

Cut to contemporary times. Today India is a capitalist economy driven by a plethora of choices for every product we need. We have companies competing for our attention and constantly bombarding us with why we may need to switch to a new iPhone or a new car. 

Thus spoilt with choices, the society came up with a new culture - 'Replace'!
Now, when we face a crisis our first instict is - ' Replace'. If you stained your shirt, get a new one; you broke your phone's screen why bother a repair when you can get a new one you some more. 

This again has translated to our relationships. Today with social media we are bombarded with choices of prospective partners. We are constantly wooed by people who are trying to get our attention. Apps like tinder market themselves to show your 'true love' is just a right swipe away.

Thus, with every strain in our relationships, we are more inclined to 'Replace' our partner. If your partner lied - replace him ; your partner doesn't make you laugh anymore - replace!

The culture of repairing a relationship and making compromises is vanishing. Who would like to compromise when someone new is so easily available!

However, in this quest for 'new', we get stuck in the never-ending wheel of desire which is never fulfilled. We replace partner after partner until we realize perfection is elusive and are deep in the spiral of self doubt and anxiety. No wonder ours is amongst the unhappiest generations of all time.

P.S: I agree there are many more reasons for the rise in divorce rates and breakdown of relationships, but I loved this take on relationships.

Happy Reading

Amit Chauhan!